Sharani

Each heart-bird of mine
Is a passport to the world
Of peace-blossoms.
-Sri Chinmoy

Last night a little miracle happened in my living room. I had returned from a few days of spiritual retreat and was trying to remember where I might have put a note written on a small piece of paper. I walked across the room over to where I have some files of papers, etc. and as I walked past some files stored vertically in a wire basket bought at an antique show, I looked down from above it and saw a square piece of paper inside a file folder slightly gaping open. I reached down thinking it was the note I needed.

What that paper turned out to be instead was a small original Jharna-Kala bird drawing by Sri Chinmoy done on a square piece of paper embossed with floral textured edges. In the middle was a soul bird drawing - on the right a long bird and as if tucked under its wings, two smaller birds facing the bird on the right. To the right of the birds was CKG - the form Sri Chinmoy used when signing his paintings. CKG for his full name - Chinmoy Kumar Ghose.

Sri Chinmoy drew millions of birds. When asked why he favored this theme, he said:

I am a man of prayer and meditation. For me, birds have a very special significance on a spiritual level. They fly in the sky, and the sky is all freedom. So when the birds fly in the sky, they remind me of the soul’s infinite freedom. The soul has come from Heaven. When we think of birds, we are also reminded of our Source, and this gives us enormous joy. I feel that if people come here to view these birds, their inner hunger to fly in the sky of infinite freedom will be fed.
Sri Chinmoy Answers, Pt. 3

No one was more surprised than me to find a Jharna-Kala bird drawing loose inside a folder labeled Christmas Trip Information. While I am pretty disorganized when it comes to papers and their tidy upkeep, it still seemed a remote possibility to me that I would have misplaced a Jharna-Kala bird drawing lost and forgotten in a folder for how long I cannot even remember.

I felt as if I had just found a rare and precious treasure. And I smiled because it felt as if God Him/Herself was talking to me with the sudden appearance of this original bird drawing by Sri Chinmoy. At the Sri Chinmoy Centre spiritual retreat I had just returned from, it was a tradition to have a sideshow as part of an amateur circus complete with prepared food and all manner of items for sale. Sri Chinmoy would bless certain purchases as part of the festivities. One area of sideshow included some of his art prints and original bird drawings and he would sign them with one’s name, etc. upon purchase.

Since this year was the first sideshow since Sri Chinmoy’s passing last October, I was lamenting that this special part of that tradition would never happen again. Even more so, I was thinking that there would never be another bird drawing or painting created by Sri Chinmoy. Granted, he drew literally millions of soul birds so it is not as if we weren’t blessed with a vast expanse of his artwork. Yet to me it still felt sad.

When I found an original bird drawing that I do not remember even owning, it seemed that my lamentation was hardly unheard or missed. Finding a bird drawing peeking out of a file folder of papers in the room adjacent to my living room made it seem as if a new bird had been created since Sri Chinmoy’s passing on October 11, 2007 after all.

I will certainly treasure this particular drawing with its air of mystery and miracle surrounding it. Most of all though I will treasure the keenness with which God seems to hear our every little thought and the kindness with which He responds to soothe our pangs of sadness.

Download Sri Chinmoy draws soul birds in Guatemala in 1997. Video by Kedar Misani, SriChinmoyTV.

See also examples of his acrylic paintings.

The human artist in me says:
“What is finished is finished.
What is complete is complete.”
The divine Artist in me says:
“Nothing can be permanently finished,
Nothing can be completely complete,
For in the inner world
Today’s destination and
Today’s perfection
Are the starting points to embark on a new journey
And to see the face of a new dawn.”
Here comes the message of my Art:
Self-transcendence is the life,
Heart, breath and soul
Of my Art.
-Sri Chinmoy in Sri Chinmoy Answers, Pt. 3

Photo of Sri Chinmoy by Kedar Misani.

The recent prominence of the new reality TV show called Oprah’s Big Give has brought my attention back in time to a blogging initiative from exactly three months ago today. BlogCatalog’s group called Bloggers Unite sponsored an Acts of Kindness Day last December with the intent of bloggers engaging in an act of kindness followed by blogging about it. In part a contest, one of the judges, Richard Becker, has kept the spirit alive by profiling various winning participants on his blog Copywrite, Ink.

Many of the participants weighed in on the contradiction of drawing attention to themselves and the preference for anonymous self-offering. Yet we also discussed how kindness can be contagious and that in talking about it seeds of inspiration for future kindness might grow.

One possible window beyond this conflict over intentions and charitable actions comes from Eastern spiritual wisdom. My spiritual teacher Sri Chinmoy created an international humanitarian aid organization as part of his spiritual mission but emphasized that a spirit of superiority/inferiority would taint one’s efforts. Instead he taught and expressed a spirit of oneness and universality. He named the service organization run purely on volunteer efforts Oneness-Heart-Tears and Smiles. Sri Chinmoy states,

“Our humanitarian service is not our self-motivated, condescending act of charity to the poor and needy. It is a gigantic opportunity to feed, nourish and strengthen our own poor brothers and sisters so that they can, side by side, march along with us to proclaim the world-oneness-victory of God the Creation.”

Another renowned figure in India’s spiritual lineage, Swami Vivekananda, echoes the same perspective of viewing all human beings as being important in the eyes of God and that the person doing the giving receives more than the person receiving.

“Do not stand on a high pedestal and take five cents in your hand and say, ‘ Here, my poor man,’ but be grateful that the poor man is there so that by making a gift to him, you are able to help yourself. It is not the receiver that is blessed, but it is the giver.”

Vivekananda also eloquently expresses this concept of the brotherhood and sisterhood of all with his following words:

‘Ask nothing; want nothing in return. Give what you have to give; it will come back to you - but do not think of that now. It will come back multiplied - a thousandfold - but the attention must not be on that. You have the power to give. Give, and there it ends. ” Thus SpakeVivekananda

Since I felt like the Acts of Kindness Day (in my case 9 days of activities) did indeed impart a host of special blessings and learning, I eagerly tuned in to Oprah’s reality television show with the theme of charitable giving. While the three episodes I watched brought tears to my eyes in heart-rending and poignant moments, I ultimately am finding it hard to resonate to a show steeped in some of the structural limitations of so-called reality TV which pits contestants against each other, eliminates them until only one remains and seems to subtly reward outrageous interpersonal behavior over quiet integrity. I guess its value may outweigh these limitations if it spreads a spirit of contagion for giving.

My vote for a recent television spotlight on a charitable organization rather goes to 60 Minutes for their coverage of Remote Area Medical. Watch the episode here:

The nonprofit charity provides free medical, dental and vision care in weekend clinics. The relief efforts began primarily in under-developed countries but lately have concentrated sixty percent of their efforts in the United States serving uninsured or under-insured individuals. The founder Stan Brock, born in England, lives very simply and gives his all to offering health care to those in need. After you watch this video about this amazing spirit of self-giving and teamwork, I think you will agree that this effort is nothing less than heroic and makes you wish you were a doctor just so you could take part in this very worthy cause.

Spiritual Teacher Sri Chinmoy composed and performed thousands upon thousands of devotional and meditative songs during his life. He wrote several books on the subject of music as well.

• God the Supreme Musician
• The Height of Silence and the Might of Sound
• The Source of Music

Ponder this captivating concept that you and everything in the world around you vibrates in an inner symphony found in his book The Height of Silence:

There are seven higher worlds and seven lower worlds. Each world has a music of its own and a note of its own. The higher worlds have a music that awakens us, inspires us, illumines us, perfects and fulfils us. The music of the higher worlds constantly comes to us as the harbinger of the highest Height, whereas the music of the lower worlds naturally comes to us as a messenger of destruction.

It is not only the higher and lower worlds that have a music of their own; each individual has his music, each movement has music, each action has music. Each time we breathe in and breathe out there is music. When we don’t pay attention to the inner depth of the action, we don’t hear the music. If we do pay adequate attention to each action, then inside the very depth of that action we are bound to hear music. Unless we hear music inside each action, the action is lifeless.
-Sri Chinmoy

Sri Chinmoy’s vast musical output (over 13,000 songs in his native tongue Bengali alone) seemed to tap into exactly what he describes in this quote about the all-pervading and infinite kinds of music accessible to the spiritually initiated. For just a small taste of his unbounded creative expression, listen to Nirab Amare performed by Kusahli Tarantsova and Rageshri Muzychenko, the musical duo Silence and Sound, a violinist and keyboard player from the Ukraine who are both students of Sri Chinmoy.

Recently I found comfort, insight and solace in contemplation of Psalm 139. As I prayed and meditated on this well-known Psalm from the Bible, its message fostered a feeling of increased intimacy with God and trust in God’s unconditional love. The Bengali lyrics of Nirab Amare translated into English resonated with this teaching found in Psalm 139 with its culmination in a close embrace by the Supreme.

Nirab Amare English Translation
Silence me,
O Self-transcendent and Self-amorous One.
Silence me!
I shall before long start worshipping You
Inside the very depths of my heart
And You will keep me always
In Your fond Embrace.

Nirab Amare.mp3

The score follows:

I recently came across a reference to Psalm 139 that led me to sit down and spend some time in reflection of this Old Testament passage from the Bible. Immediately I was struck by its eloquent expression of God’s omniscience, unconditional love, acceptance and guidance in our lives. Lessons I found in this famous psalm include:

• God is everywhere and intimately knows the inner workings of my being and thoughts. Psalm 139: 1-6
• Everywhere I go (heights or depths) God is still there. Psalm 139: 7-10
• God unconditionally accepts and loves me. Psalm 139: 10-12
• I am God’s creation. Psalm 139: 13-16
• God’s countless acts of guidance in my life are more than the grains of sand. Psalm 139: 17-18
• I wish to stand against all that opposes support of God. Psalm 139: 19-22
• God knows me better than I know myself and can shape me into a better person. Psalm 139: 23-24

These lessons comfort me when I attempt to intensify my own yearnings for union with the highest divinity. Illustrating that truth is timeless across centuries and religion, I find these same spiritual lessons resonate within my Indian meditation teacher Sri Chinmoy’s writings.

Psalm 139 states, “O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.”

Sri Chinmoy describes this concept of God’s omnipotence and intimate involvement in human life in his following words:

God is infinite, but He has entered into this finite body of ours which lasts for fifty, sixty or seventy years. God is infinite, but He houses Himself in each tiny child. Here in the finite, He wants to enjoy Himself and play the tune of the Infinite; it gives Him the greatest joy. It is in the finite that the Supreme in us is aspiring towards the Infinite. Finite and infinite: to our outer eyes they seem to be opposites, but in God’s Eyes they are one.
-Sri Chinmoy My Meditation-Service At The United Nations For 25 Years

His following words expand on the Biblical concept in Psalm 139 that “darkness is as light to you”

What is darkness? Darkness is nothing but very limited light. If you really enter into the inner world, you will see that in darkness also there is a very small, subtle light. Even inside blackness there is some light, infinitesimal light, because God is everywhere. If He is omnipresent, how can He not be inside even the most abysmal darkness? He is there, but He is manifested there to a very limited extent. So, evil, which is very insignificant light, will gradually, in the bosom of Infinity and Eternity, be illumined and grow into light.
-Sri Chinmoy The Hunger Of Darkness And The Feast Of Light, Part 1

Sri Chinmoy has written literally thousands of devotional poems, many of them expounding on the infinite nature of God’s Compassion. The following poem resonates with the part of Psalm 139 that states that God’s involvement in the writer’s life “Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.”

God’s invisible Eye
Observes my visible heart
With infinite Compassion.
-Sri Chinmoy, Seventy-Seven Thousand Service-Trees, Part 12

Sri Chinmoy’s manner of describing the concept in Psalm 139 that we are God’s creation uses a gardening metaphor:

It is the Supreme who has created love. He has created your very existence. It is like a gardener who has created a garden with many beautiful flowers. If a flower says, “No, no, he does not love me!” is that not ridiculous? The very fact that the gardener has planted and cultivated the flowers - is this not his love? At every moment you have to feel that the Supreme does love you. Otherwise, He would not have brought you into His creation.
-Sri Chinmoy, God Is

The lesson of Psalm 139 that wherever one goes God is there - whether the heights or depths - is a very personal one for me that transcends quotes from a book or Bible. My experiences and inner teachings under the guidance of my meditation teacher Sri Chinmoy revealed this truth to me in a moment of prayer and meditation. I had been struggling for a couple of weeks with an episode of jealousy and it was heartbreaking to me to view this weakness inside myself. I prayed and prayed and meditated to try to see this part of my nature reformed. Instead of a breakthrough, I seemed to just add another layer of self-criticism onto the pre-existing jealousy.

Then a couple of weeks into this process I had a revelatory moment where I heard an inner voice tell me that if I was unable to conquer and leave this troubled place that I did not need to fear God would reject me. The voice silently told me that it would stay with me wherever I was and never stop loving me - even if I was stuck inside unhappiness over my weaknesses. To this day, now at least 4 years later, I cherish this as one of the most profound examples of God’s love. Thus when I read in Psalm 139 that “If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there” I immediately think of this personal translation of this lesson made manifest in my life.

My own spiritual inspiration is greatly bolstered by the picture of God seen through the lens of Psalm 139 and Sri Chinmoy’s Eastern wisdom some 2,000 years later. To find these concepts cross over religious boundaries so easily lends credence to their universal truth. If you have never read Psalm 139, I highly recommend it. It will pull God close into your heart - a place He already is - just waiting to be discovered.

Ever since a couple of days ago when I read Ashrita Furman’s blog post about his recent Guinness record for pushing an orange with his nose, I have been pondering the spiritual life lessons it offers me. In this post Ashrita describes that he decided to try to improve on his own Guinness World Record for pushing an orange with your nose for the distance of one mile. He sometimes makes a second attempt on a particular record because someone else subsequently improved on his previous record - such as the world’s longest pencil.

In this instance, his record for the orange still held and he decided to do it again simply to see if he could improve on his own skill achieved in August 2004. What better lesson in the philosophy of self-transcendence is there? Nothing compelled him to improve on the time of 24 minutes 36 seconds set in 2004 except his own thrill in competing with no one but ourselves. He wrote, “since nobody had broken it in a few years, I decided to go after it myself.” This spirit exemplifies Sri Chinmoy’s fundamental teaching that self-transcendence offers a fulfilling and meaningful path in life. Sri Chinmoy states,

“What gives life its value
If not its constant cry
For self-transcendence?”

Even though Ashrita describes that pushing an orange with your nose is quite difficult and can even leave you slightly bruised and bloodied, he took up the challenge. This in itself is a powerful life lesson to contemplate and consider how it applies to our ordinary and not so ordinary daily activities.

Beyond this message of self-transcendence, an even more powerful wisdom beckoned to me after reading this story of breaking the orange push mile record for the second time. Ashrita chose to attempt a record in which Sri Chinmoy was present the first time he set it. Now that Sri Chinmoy passed away on October 11th, having his teacher as an outer witness to the event was no longer possible.

Ashrita’s first orange nose push record was done inside the JFK airport, Terminal 4. Sri Chinmoy visited him during this effort and he describes that he felt powerfully blessed and encouraged by the presence of his beloved spiritual teacher as a witness to the record.

I am guessing that it is not a coincidence that Ashrita decided to break this particular record once again now that Sri Chinmoy’s physical presence is no longer possible. If Sri Chinmoy were to witness this second attempt, it would be an inner subtle reality, not a face-to-face interaction.

Since the airport terminal was not available like back in 2004, his first new attempt at the record was undertaken on an outdoor track under less than ideal conditions. In the blog post you can see a photograph of how Ashrita’s face got scraped and scratched by the rough surface. He missed the record by only 11 seconds so decided to try again to find an indoor surface and a very unripe orange to roll more quickly along.

He ended up doing it a local shopping mall in Queens and he describes that part way through the attempt he realized his time was a little too slow to break his own record. He stopped to meditate and invoke Sri Chinmoy’s inner guidance. After this prayer, a completely new technique of pushing the orange magically emerged and his speed significantly improved. He broke the record by almost 2 minutes doing it in 22 minutes 41 seconds.

Ashrita’s experience offers tremendous inspiration and solace to all of us who are students of Sri Chinmoy. By having the courage to recreate a record that previously included Sri Chinmoy’s physical presence and blessings, he gave us all the chance to see how Sri Chinmoy’s blessings and guidance still operate in our lives despite the absence of his physical presence. Through a simple moment of heartfelt prayer and meditation, an entirely new and improved method of pushing the orange emerged from the inner realms.

Sri Chinmoy’s last poem in the final book sold while he was still on Earth states:

“My physical death
Is not the end of my life -
I am an eternal journey.”

Ashrita’s new orange push record vividly demonstrates this truth. In our lives, Sri Chinmoy’s presence is and will forever remain eternal.

Related Post from my Blog at the Sri Chinmoy Centre:
Ashrita Furman balances 700 eggs for a new Guinness Record.
My Photos of the World’s Largest Pencil.

I am particularly fond of the song by folksinger Bill Staines called
All God’s Critters Got a Place in the Choir. The lyrics are:

All God’s critters got a place in the choir
Some sing low, some sing higher
Some sing out loud on the telephone wire
And some just clap their hands, or paws
Or anything they got.

Listen to the bass, it’s the one on the bottom
Where the bullfrog croaks and the hippopotamus
Moans and groans with a big to-do
The old cow just goes MOOOOO

The dog and the cat pick up the middle
While the honey bee hums and the cricket fiddles
The donkey brays and the pony neighs
And the old coyote howls

All God’s critters got a place in the choir
Some sing low, some sing higher
Some sing out loud on the telephone wire
And some just clap their hands, or paws
Or anything they got.

Listen to the top where the little birds sing
On the melody with the high note ringing
The hoot owl hollars over everything
And the jaybird disagrees

Singin’ in the night-time, singin’ in the day
Little duck quacks, and he’s on his way
The possum ain’t got much to say
And the porcupine talks to himself

All God’s critters got a place in the choir
Some sing low, some sing higher
Some sing out loud on the telephone wire
And some just clap their hands, or paws
Or anything they got.

It’s a simple song of livin’ sung everywhere
By the ox and the fox and the grizzly bear
Grumpy alligator and the hawks above
Sly raccoon and the turtle dove.

All God’s critters got a place in the choir
Some sing low, some sing higher
Some sing out loud on the telephone wire
And some just clap their hands, or paws
Or anything they got.

Here you can watch a video of a performance of it by the children’s singer/performer Red Grammer.

The philosophy in this song’s lyrics were never more true than during a week-long memorial vigil after Sri Chinmoy’s passing. The praying mantis photographs shared here were taken by me while sharing in these memorial activities. During the entire time I spent in Queens, NY for the wake, memorial service and burial of spiritual leader Sri Chinmoy, this particular praying mantis stayed nearby. It was as if the insect world joined us in paying respects to this revered spiritual figure.There is much lore concerning this insect. Insectlore.com’s entry on the praying mantis states,

“Mantises are famous in many cultures. In some cultures, they are considered holy. Some believe that if you are lost, and you see a mantis, that you should go in the direction it is facing: that will lead you home. Others think that the mantis always ‘prays’ facing Mecca.“

Chinese martial arts movements derive inspiration from the praying mantis and after I saw this one during my sojourn in New York I wrote, “This morning when I folded my hands at my personal shrine to sing the Invocation I felt as if the spirit of the praying mantis was teaching me to yearn for the capacity to keep my hands folded sleeplessly in prayer and gratitude for the glory of God and His Love.”

More photos I took of the praying mantis

The World Beyond by Sri Chinmoy offers insight into death and bereavement informed by Eastern spiritual philosophy and the author’s firsthand wisdom as a spiritual teacher to thousands of seekers around the world.

I had been meaning to write about this recently published compilation of my teacher’s writings on death and consolation in loss ever since I first read it last August. I never imagined that I would turn to such a task in the context of his own death a mere few months later.

The synchronicity of this book’s publication shortly before the author’s own death proves a compelling tool to parse out teachings to help his students cope with mourning the loss of his outer presence in their lives.

This book, however, is compelling under any circumstances and for any audience. It offers a glimpse into death, the afterlife, reincarnation and advice for lessening the sorrow associated with the loss of a loved one.

The book addresses topics such as:

• Is death the end?
• Fear of death
• Suffering
• What happens in the afterlife
• How to maintain a connection with departed loved ones
• Rituals and practices at the time of the funeral and burial
• How to find consolation and peace when mourning

One particularly moving chapter comprises a letter that Sri Chinmoy sent to a minister friend who had recently lost his son in a car accident. In the letter, he emphasizes that God is the real owner of his son and that God also loves all of his children infinitely more than we do in our limited human capacity. He states, “So we should feel that our dearest one has outwardly left us to perform a special mission at another place.” In this letter, Sri Chinmoy also offers advice for coping with this undeniable sorrow:

Now I wish to tell you, Reverend, how you and your wife can console yourselves and even get inner joy from your outer loss. Please keep around yourselves as many pictures as possible of your beloved son at different times of his life. Please write down your sweetest memories of your beloved son. Then, from time to time, read those memories and become the sweetness, beauty, reality and divinity of your son’s life. While you are trying to grow into the memories, feel that your son is not only with you and in you, but for you.

Sri Chinmoy then continues with advice on two methods for staying in touch with their son inwardly,

with your heart’s cries and your soul’s smiles. Through prayers, we develop our heart’s cries. Through meditations, we develop our soul’s smiles. Either of these two can be applicable to commune with your beloved son or to derive joy from merely thinking about him.

Later in the book, Sri Chinmoy offers more practical advice in the form of a special meditation technique to try if one is visiting someone in the hospital and that person is dying.

You do not have to look at the person, but put your whole concentration on his heart. First try to imagine a circle at his heart, and try to feel that this circle is rotating there like a disc. That means that life-energy is now revolving consciously in the aspiration or in the vessel of the person who is sick. Through your concentration and meditation, you are entering into the heartbeat of that person. When you enter into the heartbeat, then your consciousness and the aspiring or dying consciousness of the other person rotate together. While they are rotating, pray with your whole being to the Supreme who is your Guru and everybody’s Guru, “Let Thy Victory be achieved. Let They Will be done through this particular individual. I want only Your Victory.”

Another important message in the book is his explanation of ancient Eastern wisdom on death itself. The book begins with his mention of the soul and death from the viewpoint of the Bhagavad Gita. From this perspective, the soul is birthless and deathless and the human life is a journey experienced through countless lifetimes coming back down to Earth.

In simple and down-to-earth language, Sri Chinmoy speaks of life and death as different rooms in a house and that we should “recognize death as nothing but a rest. A rest is necessary at the present stage of evolution.” In his chapter called ‘Fear of Death’ Sri Chinmoy patiently explains, “Death is like a stopping place on the road of Eternity and life is the traveller, the eternal traveller. The soul is the guide. When the traveller becomes tired and exhausted, the guide says, ‘Take a rest, for a long or a short time, and then afterwards start your journey again.’ “

The World Beyond is itself a powerful stopping place for anyone searching for insight into death, the afterlife and coping tools for processing grief from a spiritual perspective. I highly recommend it for a glimpse into the secrets of the “world beyond.” After finishing this moving and comforting compilation on a difficult issue for many, you will find yourself affirming the sentiment expressed by the author:

The song of the birds says that there is no death. The birds fly in the sky. The sky signifies Infinity. If one remains in Infinity, then how can there be any death? So the song of the birds always declares the Immortality of the soul.

Read The World Beyond by Sri Chinmoy and hear the birds sing.

To purchase the book published by Aum Publications, see ordering information at SriChinmoybooks.com.

Miraculously perhaps, the last 47 years of my life have been overflowing with life and death has been almost a stranger in the circle of my closest family and friends. Granted death is the great equalizer and it has not passed over my doorstep completely. The grief that often comes in its wake, however, has been more unusual than common for me.

More than 20 years ago when I was still in college but transferred from Kalamazoo College (a small liberal arts college in Michigan) out to a large state university on the East Coast, I received the news that one of my Kalamazoo college chums had been killed in a biking accident most unexpectedly and tragically. The night before I received the news I was woken again and again from an attempt to sleep while vacationing in Wellfleet on Cape Cod by a raging wild thunderstorm and a dream in which she came to me but I didn’t realize in the dream that she had died.

Without hesitation I flew back to Michigan for her memorial service held at K College in which a spirit of true celebration and joy prevailed because she was such a beautiful person who cheered the lives of all she encountered. Her short life seemed to embody the truism that she was almost too good for this world and her departure a respite from its baser savages.

After the service was over, I found some quiet meditative space to have a conversation with her - not at her graveside but rather while sitting on a children’s swingset in a nearby park. In the privacy of my heart, I talked out loud knowing that she heard me and spoke my love and goodbyes punctuated by smiles and tears intermingled.

Fast forward to the present and now I have just spent the last ten days sharing a time of mourning for the death my spiritual teacher Sri Chinmoy together with my spiritual family gathered from across the globe. His life is already being memorialized and I particularly like the clip from ABC News “This Week with George Stephanopoulos” as well as NPR’s mention of him on “All Things Considered.” As someone who counted world leaders, Olympic athletes and Grammy award-winning musicians amongst his friends, peers and devotees; tributes are pouring in to places such as his official website SriChinmoy.org.

Now that the wake, memorial service and funeral are behind us, you will find me over on the swingset - metaphorically speaking - having a conversation with him and remembering my final sweet interactions as one of his students from the Rhode Island Centre who regularly attended meditation functions held by him in Queens, New York.

I experienced his blessings and encouragement right up to the last moment. With my birthday a mere 8 days prior to his death, I felt like he was inwardly feeding me waves of joy as I observed it. In New York for meditation centre activities on the weekend before his death, I sent a gratitude flower to his house and wrote a card which saw my thanks expressed much more deeply and flowery in style than usual. Perhaps some part of me knew I was writing my last note to him before his passing.

Traditionally play performances were a highlight of functions with Sri Chinmoy on Saturday nights at Aspiration Ground in Queens. We had just such a function on the Saturday night before his passing although not all the plays prepared went on because he wasn’t feeling well. While sitting in costume ready to perform a play with my centre leader Vijali, one of Sri Chinmoy’s students shared with me that after receiving the flowers I sent to the house, he had asked “Will she be in Vijali’s play tonight?” Our play didn’t end up going on and the part I would have played gives me the chills just to think of it.

I was to play a boss in an office who was in a state of distraction because his wife was quite sick in the hospital in England while he was working afar in India. His co-workers would ask him how he was and he wouldn’t answer or he would just say “Oh put that paper on my desk” when that wasn’t even what the person had just said to him. In that play written by Sri Chinmoy, his subordinate offers to meditate on his wife’s condition and once she recovers and visits his office she identifies this man as someone who appeared before her in the hospital and saved her life. This play is in fact partially autobiographical with Sri Chinmoy writing about his boss at the Indian Consulate from his early days in the U.S. in the 1960’s.

Oh how I wish real life had an ending like the ending of this play! This time the hour has struck and Sri Chinmoy will continue as my teacher as long as I live but no longer as a living spiritual master. Dearest Guru, I am writing this post dedicated to you as a final moment farewell. Can you please accept it as an aswer to your question “Will she be in Vijali’s play?” Yes I will. No matter the circumstance, the show must go on. I will be in the play. I will cherish your guidance in my life inside my heart as I continue to play on the life stage. Your final question of me will spur me ever onward even as right now I stop to tarry at the banks of the sorrow river in mourning.

Related Post: The Best Kind of Beautiful
Candle Photo: Jowan
Gratitude Flower Photo: Sharani

Back when I was hunting to buy my first house, my nature and tree-loving inclinations had me secretly hoping for a yard around the house with at least one nice tree. The realtor helping me in this house-finding mission would give me for sale listings in the vicinity of the apartment complex where I lived because I wanted to stay nearby if possible. I used to awaken in the early morning and go out walking carefully viewing the houses and trying to imagine what kind of home I would succeed in buying. One day I studied the latest additions to the MLS listings and saw that a house was listed in my price range only about a mile from my residence. I set out on foot to find this house for sale at such a reasonable price and crossed my fingers and toes that I would like it.

As soon as I located it during that morning’s walk, I instantly liked it from the front and the backyard beckoned. I somewhat boldly walked along the periphery of the property and my heart delighted in seeing a number of trees in a very nice yet not too large backyard. This house with the wonderful trees and yard did end up becoming my new home shortly after that morning peek into its promise.

Now many years later I continue to enjoy the trees in my backyard and whenever I sit under the three trees prominently towards the center of the yard I feel a sense of peace and contentment basking in the shade under their canopy of branches and leaves.

One day a number of years later as my car approached my house from a distance up the street I suddenly was struck by the difference in height of two trees in my backyard which are next to each other. All those years from the ground underneath the trees, they share a sense of sameness in my eyes, even with one being a red maple and the other a green maple.

As if for the first time ever, my eyes were opened to an altogether different viewpoint through the sight of the trees in my backyard from afar as they loomed up over the roof of the house. “Look at how much taller the green maple is than the red,” I exclaimed to myself. That tree on the right is very, very tall - infinitely higher than the one next to it and appears to be one of the highest trees on the entire street. How is it possible that I never noticed before the impressive height of this tree compared to the others? From the ground-level underneath the trees, they seemed precisely the same and I never would have noticed the one’s towering height over the others if I had not viewed them from the crest of the gentle hill a few houses back from mine.

What a lesson this observation hinted at! Depending on the viewpoint, one might apply the same analogy to the world of people instead of the genus of trees. When a great man or woman bends down in humility and self-giving to share the flowers and fruits of the tree with people found at the foot of the tree, we might never realize just how high into the thin altitude of greatness this giant among men and women truly was.

Such is the man Sri Chinmoy , my spiritual teacher for the last 22 years, who to my deep sadness passed away on October 11, 2007 at his home in Queens, New York.
His spiritual philosophy always emphasized the importance of humility and the obstacles inherent in pride and human ego in the quest to find true satisfaction in life. In one poem he writes,

To become spiritually tall, taller, tallest,
We must be always
On our knees.

This poem from a series of poetry by Sri Chinmoy is aptly named in relation to this tallest tree musing since the book’s title/series is Seventy-Seven Thousand Service-Trees, Part 23.

His lifetime of offering and service in so many walks of life glowed with a sheen of greatness that I have never witnessed by any other person alive today. Yet this giant among men also dedicated his every breathing moment to instilling a sense of gratititude, encouragement and support for all he came in contact with. He composed countless songs in honor of friends and guests, wrote at length about all he admired - even in great detail about the diversity of religions and spiritual teachers through the ages in such a manner that you would feel “here is a follower of Christ, here is a follower of Buddha, here is a follower of Krishna” depending on which passage you read from his prolific writings.

I honestly and deeply believe that there was never a moment that he was not trying to see the best in all whom he met and he truly is a teacher whose middle name is encouragement and positive all-forgiving divine love. He coaxed forth potential and promise that I never in my wildest dreams imagined might be waiting dormant within me.

Like a towering tree that sends forth countless seeds and fruits to germinate and sprout in the future, his influence will resonate long after this end of his life at age 76. With thousands of students and well-wishers from across the globe arriving in New York to pay homage to this beloved man who touched countless hearts, I think of the tree in my yard looming high above the others yet sharing a message and perspective of unity and equality when viewed from underneath the bottom branches. I am fully confident that the many centres based upon his teachings will continue to blossom long after his death. I know that my own lfe will continue to bask in the wisdom his life embodied until I too reach my end. Thank you Sri Chinmoy. Thank-you from the bottom of my heart.

Read More Details About Memorials and Tributes to this Great Soul

Paper lace grace
flutters al fresco
a ticker tape parade
thousand happiness wish
-Sharani (July 2006)

I slowly moved forward in walking meditation, silent, reverent, linked in a seamless circle with others taking darshan from the teacher. With each completion of another time around in our circular passage, a rarefied and angelic feeling of happiness washed over my interior being, deepening with each step. My usual enchantment with beauty found mostly in nature stepped aside as the overwhelming beauty of this breeze of happiness dawning within fed my soul. What kind of fool must I be not to realise it sooner! Happiness is the best kind of beautiful. It feeds our myriad longings and banishes dissatisfaction. Now instead the centrality of abiding satisfaction bubbled forth from within into the bloom of a smile - or to be precise more like a wide and open grin.

Happiness is a complex and elusive wayfarer on my life road. It evaded me when I faced hardships as a child and as I wrestled with feelings of inadequacy. Now these many years later, unless felt as an authentic reality I am usually reticent to paint it on the surface of my life in some kind of superficial nod to its legitimate importance. If it doesn’t honestly dawn from inside up and outward, I shy from hastily donning this garment, however valuable it might be.

Therefore, the solid feeling of happiness that spontaneously graced this walking exercise in meditation struck me with its immensity and tangible power. One thing I know for sure - my meditation teacher Sri Chinmoy offered a very special gift this day with a blessing in the form of kindled happiness. I felt ever so ready to jump up on a soapbox and eagerly declare that happiness is the best kind of beautiful. Not to worry. Maybe my smiling eyes did the talking for me. They can serve as shining testament along with the sweet memory of this experience now imprinted on the tablet of my heart.

My heart’s dawn has come.
Inside my heart
I see only one thing:
The happiness of a God-intoxicated
Beauty-life.
-Sri Chinmoy
Twenty-Seven Thousand Aspiration-Plants, Part 9